That slump

I continue to be jobless.

I applied to about 12 more jobs in the last 3 days, which is a feat in itself. Then some respond and I realize a lot of things that make me not want it. Am I being too picky?

For example, I don't really believe in print advertising anymore, I don't care if your company has grown 370% in the last few years- I can't work for you.

Or the company doesn't ever actually say what it does. "We make your brand the talk of the town!" How? What? It's okay though, because their first two of four values are "seize every opportunity" and "never give up." Who are you, Michael Scott?

There are a lot of possible opportunities that I get excited about though, which makes me feel like maybe I'm just holding out for that perfect job.

I did some work for my old company again last week, but everything is just so tedious. I've done 30 hours of tedious work, projects that no one else wants to do. I have maybe another 20 hours of this stuff to do, but I didn't realize how hard it would be to do it when there's not end-game. They're not going to hire me back full time, I'm not going to get paid more or get a promotion. I just really need money. You'd think that'd be enough of incentive but it really isn't. I feel like I went through a break up just to get back together and realize it's just not going to work, but you don't leave them because you're broke and you just hope something better comes along soon.

Actually that's exactly what it is.

Ps. I've never been in that situation, just to clear that up now. Only with work... which is more ethical, right?

I go through waves of being really motivated to find jobs or work, and then waves where I just am so upset I'm still jobless, and instead make dreamcatchers for friends (I made this one with white yarn, turquoise beads and brown feathers), or flower arrangement because I had left over seashells from another project.

Anyway, today I thought that for sure I would work and I went to a coffee shop, and now I'm doing this instead.

At least I did my taxes a long time ago and don't have that to worry about. It's the little things.

Oh and I bought OUTSIDE LANDS TICKETS! Yes, I don't have money. But I'll definitely get a job eventually so I'll eventually have money and then I can pay that off later. I also don't have a flight there yet because they're about $300/person. Minor detail. Elton John, Billy Idol, Tame Impala, Dan Deacon, Allah-Las, St. Vincent, Hot Chip, and a bunch of others. I can sleep at night knowing that I have that to look forward to. My boyfriend keeps discussing how we still have Iceland and Thailand to look forward to but I honestly have no idea if those will actually pan out. Which is why I bought these tickets. I just need something set in stone to look forward to.

First world problems, amiright? Right.

Alright, I suppose I should do something more productive like I initially set out to do.